


A Fucking Idiot

by Finnisam



Category: Original Work
Genre: Awkwardness, M/M, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:40:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24625639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finnisam/pseuds/Finnisam
Summary: A boy named Colin has his first day at college. He meets a boy named Harry in history class. It goes from there. Also, the narrator isn't very nice, don't trust him.





	A Fucking Idiot

It was Colin’s first day at college, the typical way these things start. That’s the English kind of college, by the way, you know, so he’s 16. Which isn’t far from my age but it’s not a fucking autobiographical story so fuck off. Ah, apologies, dear reader, now let us delve into this tragic, romantic, and comical tale. So, it was that hopeless bastard’s first day at college, and he was like a fish out of water in that place, walking through the doors he was anxious and looking around made him even more anxious, I know, surprising isn’t it? Almost as if this mild form of anxiety will have a purpose later in the story, or maybe it won’t, fuck off, Chekhov. He smiled at everyone, with the innocence of someone who was faking innocence, and the stupidity of someone who truly believed they were intelligent, I mean, let’s not argue, he was a bit of a propped-up prick. 

“Breathe, I just need to remember to breathe, that’s all.”   
He whispered to himself, as if that was something that normal people did. What’s he doing then? Oh yes, he’s walking to class with one backpack strap slung over his shoulder and the other dangling, waiting to get caught on something, being a general hinderance to everyone else, inconsiderate asshole. So he walked to class, he’d done all of the introduction shit beforehand, so this was technically not his first day of college but we’re here now, aren’t we? Stop poking holes. He had picked A-Levels, I don’t know the American equivalent or the equivalent in other countries and I don’t exactly care, but he picked them, not me. History was one of his subjects and oh boy, did he love history, he read Wikipedia pages about historical figures and small parts of books, not full ones, obviously, but he had the intellectual capabilities of a rabbit amped up on meth, as previously mentioned. And the intellectual superiority of uhhh, I don’t know, someone who you can’t stand to be around. 

He walked through the hallways with a nervous swagger, and finally reached the dilapidated door of his classroom, it was empty, which prompted Colin to think:  
“Oh, am I in the wrong place?”  
Which he whispered to himself unwittingly, yes, I don’t know why he does this either. He cross referenced the room number with the one on his timetable and realised it was the correct place, he just happened to be early, he opted to wait outside, thinking it was the polite thing to do. Nice boy. Another student, a boy with brown, dishevelled hair and round brown eyes came down the hallway, smiling at him, he asked:  
“History, right?”  
“Yeah, that’s here.”  
“Cheers.”  
And with that he walked past Colin and opened the door to the classroom, leisurely taking a seat. Colin felt like a fucking idiot, which was probably the correct way to feel but oh, how would I know? I’m just an omniscient narrator that is opting not to use the full capabilities of his omniscience. Also, I’ll be switching tenses a lot because I’m lazy and you only need context to understand it, back to Colin, still feeling like a fucking idiot. With the revelation that, in fact, he did not have to wait and could have gone in at any moment, he went in, obviously. I mean, did you expect him to wait outside and look like even more of a twat?   
He immediately saw the other student sat at the back and his eyes lit up, like he was in love or something, I know, fucking weirdo. The student, who we’ll call “Harry” for reasons that will soon become clear, gestured to Colin to come and sit next to him, saying:  
“Mate, come sit here, I don’t want to look like a loner prick.”  
To which Colin replied:  
“Yep, me neither.”   
And he made his way to the back and sat next to his newfound “friend”.   
“Alright? I’m Harry, now you.”  
“Oh uhhh, I’m Colin. Nice to meet you.”  
“Jesus Christ, you are one nervous bitch, aren’t you? Don’t be so pleasant, friends are friends, whatever the fuck that means.”   
To be quite honest, Colin was a nervous bitch and Harry was just a nervous bitch pretending not to be, but you know what they say, birds of a feather fuck together or something like that. Colin was quite shocked at the familiarity of his new friend, he was a delicate butterfly, not used to people being honest or genuine, Harry was the opposite, he was honest to the point of brutality, which probably explains, or explained why he had, or has so few friends. So they waited for the teacher to arrive and watched as the classroom filled with students like an open wound filling with pus and blood, I know, it’s a delightful image for a delightful place. Maybe Colin needs some inner motivations and some struggles to overcome, other than the general anxiety that emanates from his very being, let’s exposit his personality a little, shall we? You can’t reply, good, I’ll take some artistic liberties, he’s fairly attractive to be honest, I suppose he’d have to be, but he lacks the social confidence to pursue relationships. What else? He has no friends, you knew that, and everybody has a tendency to think he’s weird, it may be due to his whispering to himself, just a guess. Seeing as Harry is here too, he deserves at least the semblance of a personality, he’s also fairly attractive, maybe a love interest, not yet. He’s known for acting effeminate and then extremely masculine, almost as if he’s making up for something. Strange, eh? 

Back to current events, or events being retold, I haven’t decided yet and I won’t, ever. HAH. The teacher walked in, his name was something, Mr. Elliot, there we go. He had the charm of a corpse and the demeanour of a rotting corpse, but he was nice. A bit like Colin but you know, Colin is too socially awkward to be genuinely nice but he’s trying. Prick that he is. He did all the introductory shit and then got on with the class, it’s fair to say that Harry and Colin got on, or they attempted to understand each other, like an octopus and a hedgehog interacting for the first time. Spikes and tentacles go together like bread and butter, as I’m sure you all know. They talked about all sorts of things without really doing work, ever the conscientious students, here’s a little excerpt:  
“Harry, what do you think about Hitler?”  
“Say, Colin, I think he’s a swell guy. Germany never had a better leader!”  
It was at this moment that Colin realised that he didn’t know Harry at all, relax I’m just kidding. Here is an actual excerpt:  
“So, what other subjects are you doing, Colin?”  
“Oh uhhhh, I’m doing history, wait you know that.”  
“Of course I fucking know that, you gremlin, we are sat in fucking history class. Others?”  
Feeling like a fucking idiot, yet again, because Colin is a fucking idiot, most of the time at least, he opted to skip over his anxiety.   
“Oh yes, sorry. I’m doing religious studies and English, then.”  
“Those are some pretty noncey subjects there, mate. Training to be one, eh?”  
“No, I am not. I just like them.”  
“Don’t be such a serious cunt, you serious cunt. It’s a joke.” Harry said while smiling a toothless smile, almost sociopathic, isn’t he? That’s not intentional, or maybe it is, fuck off.   
Suddenly, Mr. Elliot came over and said to the boys:  
“You two, best get back to work, now. Enough about noncery for now, we aren’t studying Ancient Greece.” He said with a chuckle to himself. 

Before long, the class had ended and the bond between Colin and Harry had increased significantly, which is strange for a first day, usually people don’t speak, but I gave Colin a friend for the sake of speeding up fucking events. To make this bastardisation of the art of writing somewhat more interesting. Be grateful, dear reader, I implore thee. After class, they had a break, Colin and Harry strolled together like two criminals in an 18th century novel discussing nefarious deeds, which they weren’t of course, but you don’t know that, only I do, and I’m not telling you. HAH, you suck. Sorry, dear reader, but it’s for the best that the whole conversation goes unrecorded. They talked about hentai or something, sick bastards. As they talked, they found that they had taken a liking to each other, which is strange, but maybe it was just desperation as neither of them had made a real friend before. God, can you be anymore ill-suited to the world and anti-social than these two?   
They stared into each other’s eyes until they could stare no more, and could’ve kissed, but nah, maybe later. I think Harry can do better though, don’t you?

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it. If you didn't, then fuck.  
> Go with the flow.


End file.
